When I lived in London, one of my favourite things to do was walk round the city at night when the streets were deserted. The city of London is well known for being busy, full of hard workers, full of hustlers working hard, being successful achieving their dreams. At night the streets aren't full of city workers suited up running in trainers to make their lunch time meetings, it's quiet but the lights in the office are still on and you'll always find one lone worker hunched over a computer. a study was conducted which analysed 550 London staff from BNP Paribas the study found that stress levels were dangerously high. co author of the study David Plans found that the culture of always working is "killing people". Stress levels are dangerously high and "hustling" is now directly linked to cardiovascular disease. We're taking work home and not properly switching off. We have responsibilities at home and kids to feed. There's no time for "me time".
It's hard when most peoples work hours aren't their choice, you have to work to make money and keep on working to make enough money. There isn't enough support or recognition of this. Too many people are working just to pay the bills. We get home scroll through Instagram and see bloggers telling us about the importance of meditation, getting out of the city and have a weekend break, take time to make nutritious meals, you'll feel much better when you go the gym. Wake up half an hour earlier there's always time for the gym. "Pay £1000 come on my stress free, gluten free, technology free 2 day retreat the other side of the world" I love when influencers do these because there's always a comment mentioning the price which is usually "justified" by explaining what they're paying for. The only way to have a solid 10/10 self love retreat can only be achieved by flying to the Maldives with a Michelin star vegan, raw food, eco friendly chef, you get a "free" £600 goody bag full of gluten free snacks and raw maple leaf water full of antioxidants and ab making detoxing plant based shit. Now I'm no nutritionist but I'm 100% certain your insides and skin will feel the love if you feed it 2 litres of tap water. I don't mind the retreats or what they offer I think any form of self love help is a positive thing. I just don't like the promotion of them, they're there because we don't know how to look after ourselves. We don't understand the basics of nutrition or mindfulness. We're being programmed to think that we only love ourselves if we drink water from the raw tree in the amazon rainforest freshly bottled in an eco friendly cup at the source. I need to stop now as I feel like I'm repeating myself from my last post. As someone who done a degree in advertising I feel like I can tell you this; self love is quickly becoming a brand, a quick money making, expensive brand. You can still have me time within your busy schedule which doesn't involve coconut water. It's about stripping back to the basics. Are you ready, have you found time to sit down? Write down what gives you that warm feeling of happiness, not big things but the little things. I mean little such as eating, having time to binge watch, going for a walk, listening to music, watching memes. Guess what, these are all a part of self love. You are doing something you enjoy, you are making yourself feel good. Every time you've said "oh I love doing that" what is it you love doing? If you don't have time to do something small what you love doing at least once a day, then be brutal with yourself and change something. Your brain wasn't made to just learn what you learnt in school, it doesn't understand that once you get the degree that's it with education. Love your brain, keep it engaged. Learn a new thing every month. Buy books, do a crossword. Anything that keeps it ticking. It'll help you when you're a lot older. You might even learn enough to realise that what we learnt in school and the school curriculum is a load of bollocks. My mum calls me the why bird, for some reason I want an answer for everything, I think everything's a conspiracy and want to just know why. I love education. It's never too late to learn something new I love hearing about mature students or about someone who went for a completely new career in their 40's. Education is constantly changing and constantly updating it's important to keep up to date for ourselves. Now I'm not saying go enrol and get a degree, it literally might just be reading the paper or listening to a podcast. Although there are a lot of free college courses and I love the Open university website for their free courses. OK I get it I took the piss out of meditation before but at the moment I'm reading Ruby Wax's A Mindfulness Guide For The Frazzled and the science is there kids, mindfulness helps. It helps our brains. It's good for us. For anyone thinking about mindfulness or wondering what the fuck that Instagram influencer is going on about, I strongly recommend buying this book. It's so much more than Ruby telling us to download Headspace and sit for 10 minutes. It describes the science behind our brain. It's so fascinating and I appreciate how open and honest Ruby is talking about her own mental health. Looking after our mental health is just as important as going the doctors about that three week cough. Keep a diary. As a children's counsellor I tell all the kids this when they sound overwhelmed. Keep a mood diary to track mental health triggers, keep it if you need to measure when you're eating, keep one to measure goals progress. Or keep one to just empty out all your thoughts and feelings at the end of the day and how you feel especially if you have no one else to talk to. It's OK to not write in it everyday It's OK if you read it back and it doesn't make any sense because you're so stressed your head doesn't make sense anymore. It's OK if your thoughts scare you. Writing down and reading your thoughts might clear your head or encourage you to talk to a professional. Talking to someone about your health is the best form of self love. Be social if your own mind is your worst enemy talk about it, if you realise you haven't had any human contact in 2 days, talk to someone. If you work from home, maybe one day move your office to a coffee shop. Laughing is a perfect medicine. Surround yourself with those you love and those who help you love yourself and allow you to be the best version of you. While going through the self love journey and general growing up you'll think a lot about those who you surround yourself with. You may realise actually your partner puts you down a lot. Your friends don't hold the same values as you do and they actually make you feel pretty shit about this. Fuck them you don't need that. But it's hard isn't it, it's hard when you realise you're now completely different to your childhood best friend, when you realise your boyfriend doesn't make you feel good about yourself and is actually a human form of a heap of shit. It's not easy breaking up or cutting out friends. If you're in this position, write a list. How does this person make me feel? What good do they offer me? If they don't make me feel good, are they ok? Am I being petty, can I look past the fact they love oranges but I fucking hate them? It's all about you and what and who works best for you. If you find yourself with no one, the joys of social media means there's always an online community who gets you. Again, respect yourself enough to know who's worth it. Have time alone, I get so sad when I see people hop to the next relationship because they don't like being alone or people who can't go somewhere cause they've got no one to go with. You're pretty alright company by yourself. I do believe you lose a bit of yourself if you don't have alone time and spend all your time socialising. How are you supposed to know who you are if you spend too much time talking to others about their lives. Yeah being alone for too long can be dangerous especially when you don't have the kindest thoughts in your head but it's good to spend some time by yourself. My favourite advocate of this is Dr. Hazel Wallace, the Food Medic. she's such an independent queen I love it. If you don't live by yourself, have a bath or just go somewhere where you know you won't have someone knocking on your door every two seconds. Go for a coffee and people watch for a bit, take a walk while listening to your favourite music. Do a face mask. anything that makes you appreciate you and your company. Move more, it's been proving that exercises makes us feel good, those little endorphin's are miracle workers. But here's something that might shock you. Your body doesn't actually know it's in the gym. It's aware it's working hard and moving a lot but it doesn't know what building it's in. Don't sacrifice spending time with a friend because you booked a spin class. I admit it, I have my gym routine and I love it, training is my happy thing and yeah I get annoyed when I can't make it one day I'll admit that but what am I doing instead of that? Because that might be worth more. You don't have time or the money for a gym membership? That's fine Instagram is full of at home workouts. Being outdoors and going for long walks might actually be better for you than training indoors. Just because you didn't lift weights one day doesn't mean your body hasn't got the physical activity it needs. If it's a nice day, walk to the next bus stop not the one closest to your house, take in your surroundings appreciate the fresh air.Especially if you work in an office, work your glutes and keep moving. There are a lot of people who are too sick to move so if you're able to please move. It's also now that I want you to know if you want one lazy day where you only move to get food and have a wee, that's fine. Don't let that person who's in the gym on a Sunday morning on Instagram make you feel bad. One day of not moving won't affect the weight you can squat. Lets get a bit deeper and think about what's good for your body because let's be honest your health is your wealth. How does your body feel when you move? How does your body feel when you finish eating? Should you move more? Move less? There's so much shit for people who don't go the gym and eat not so nutritious foods. What about the ones who are injured cause they trained everyday last week, they're forcing themselves to eat a fucking garden because without abs they're nothing. no matter how you move or how you eat you might not be hitting that self love. Our body needs nutrients and all that good shit in it. It makes us move better and feel better, more energised. Don't eat for aesthetics, don't eat green salads cause you have to be healthy. How do you see food? Do you count calories? Syns? Is food a number to you? No food fuels you, food gives you energy. Does food affect your mental health? Do you get anxious when you think about what to have for your tea? Please speak to someone about this, get your doctor to refer you to a nutritionist or dietitian. Look at your food and ask yourself what are you and your body getting from this. Is your body getting it's essential nutrients? Are you getting pleasure from eating your chicken nuggets? Or are you looking round and seeing your out with your friends and family and that's more important. Feed your body with your veg and feed your soul with your pizza. Balance kids. Food isn't numbers, food isn't anxiety, food is essential for life and to enjoy. Use self love to see this, nourish yourself, treat yourself, respect yourself. With food comes drink, you're not Satan if you drink full sugar coke, you're not actual Jesus if you drink gluten free water. Is that a thing? I feel like it will be a thing eventually. OK fizzy drinks aren't the best for our bodies, drink them every hour of every day and our teeth will probably fall out. But only cut them out if your dentist tells you too. You have one can of coke, you won't wake up with your black teeth on the floor. You'll burp and enjoy it and claim it cured your hangover. Your mates invite you for a night out, you have a work out planned for the next day and read an article about how vodka gives you all the diseases in the world and the affect of alcohol on the liver. A night out with girls beats any training session, and getting drunk on a Saturday night will not destroy your liver or give you heart disease. Of course don't have vodka every hour of every day. See alcohol as a social thing or something to accommodate your evening meal. One tip; research has shown that diet coke gets you drunker than full sugar coke, so which is actually "healthier"? Coconut water out the bottle reminds me of a horrific experience I had at uni but I love the fresh out the coconut water, drink what you enjoy and don't let anyone else make you feel bad about it. Where it gets the most deep self love can ever get is when you don't want to love yourself, you're too unwell to love yourself. When the little things that give you happiness no longer do and you're so numb nothing makes you feel good. I hope that if you feel like this you speak to a professional. If you're too unwell to leave your bed, opening the curtains is self love and if you're able too sitting up is self love. Using all your energy to have a shower is self love. I've been there I've been so unwell I can't leave bed and it's fucking shit, It's the worst feeling, it's shit, unfair and lonely. Please try though. If you physically can't leave bed please try and write or keep your brain active. Please try and maybe moisturise or have a quick wash. When you can't see past that big dark wall knock a brick down, take it day by day. Keeping yourself alive might be your strongest form of self love. Now I don't think many of my suggestions require a two day retreat, strip it down and it's not as overwhelming or as cheesy as the concept of self love sounds. Do something everyday that makes you feel good about you. Say no to things you don't want to do, if it doesn't make you feel good it might not be important. Look after yourself, having your health means you're the richest person in the world, having self respect makes you the strongest person in the world. It's OK if you don't have either of these as long as you take it day by day to get there. You do you, don't compare, don't put others down. Smile at a stranger say hello to whoever you come into contact with. Find your balance, look after your body and your soul. You're going to be OK.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |