Have you ever had that weird and mind blowing experience were you look round and realise that every passing stranger has a story, they have a life, they've experienced happiness and devastation and you haven't got a clue what they've experienced. You give them a friendly smile as you walk past, unless you're from London then it's a kind scowl, they smile back politely but you haven't got a clue what's going on behind that smile, what's going on in their life what they've been through or what's to come. It sounds weird and like I should be locked in a mental home but it's a common thought which we've all had.
Have you ever spoke to a stranger and opened up about your stories and find out more about this stranger? That's more unlikely but in the past few weeks I've been on a couple of placements were I've had to find out more about strangers, more about their stories, their personalities and what makes them them. You'd be surprised at how much you can get by simply asking someone who wants company "are you ok?". Cancer survivors and anyone who had been through a long term or chronic illness are constantly told to never let your diagnosis define who you are, but all of a sudden battling a long term illness becomes all you know, when you're stripped of everything it's all you can talk about, you forget about life before hand and it's hard to move on from it but the professionals are right on this one, illnesses don't define you, they can turn your world upside down, throw you on a completely different path but in the long term it's a chapter in your story and a lot of people have a similar chapter in their stories. In the past few weeks I've had the pleasure of learning so much about humans who are either in poor health, or starting their journey into the big, scary adult world I've also learned a lot about young, innocent children who've had a poor, unfair start to their lives and had the pleasure of guiding them on the way to fulfil their potential. We live in a world which revolves around social media, to an extent we know to much about too many people we don't care about, human interaction isn't about what that person you vaguely know from high school is having for tea it's about learning each other stories finding out what makes them the person they are. I genuinely believe we aren't born with the personalities we have during adulthood, we aren't born with kindness, arrogance, selfishness or consideration. We learn these qualities, we learn them from going through the hardest experiences life can throw at us or if we've had it easy and sail through life. We can teach a child to share and think of others but it's experiences and the chapters in our books that make us who we are on the inside and outside. I'm especially bad at making snap judgements I judge people on what they're wearing, their hair, make-up everything. But imagine if there's a reason someone wore that piece of clothing you're secretly laughing at in your head or even a health reason that person had to wear those ugly shoes you're judging cause they don't match their outfit. Nine times out of ten there's no underlying reason,maybe to that person things mean more to them than how they look or they just want to be comfy. We're all too judgemental and continuously being told to be true to ourselves but crave approval on social media from people who mean nothing and don't care about. Our stories don't make us any better or any worse than that stranger you've just smiled at and we should stop with this competitive well I've been through this shit so I deserve this, that or the other. We've all been through shit and we might be a better or worse person because of this. Getting to know each other and listening to each others experiences can be an amazing thing, it can humble you, make you realise you have a lot in common, or realise this person's a bit of a tit please leave. If someone asks you briefly how you are we all hide our true feelings and usually reply with "not bad thanks you?" it's polite we don't want to reveal our true thoughts and feelings in a brief conversation I'm also first to admit that if I ask someone how they are it can be out of habit and nine times out of ten not up for listening to a moan about life, just a brief answer will do thanks because we're in a rush or caught up in our own bullshit however in saying this there's something special about learning a persons story, or maybe I'm just really nosy. A quick look at the news can make you lose faith in humanity, well mainly politicians, but if we stop being so self absorbed and impressing everyone with our made up social media life and just talk to each other you'll soon realise that yes while animals are still better than humans,we're not that bad.
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