I've wanted to write about this for a while but I didn't know what to say or how to word it, It's hard to accept what happened in Manchester two weeks ago.
Unfortunately I'm no longer surprised by terrorist attacks, I'm sad and angry and i think about the victims and their families, but I carry on because that's what we should do. But what happened in Manchester has shook me and two weeks on I'm still processing it all and letting my emotions do their thing. Going to Manchester Arena is a normal thing to do, if I want to go to a concert and the artist isn't playing Liverpool then it's not a hard decision to choose to go to Manchester, it's 40 minutes away, a train ticket can be £2. The station is right next to it, there's no worry or no rush. Going to a concert is a normal thing to do, my favourite thing about concerts is for a couple hours you can just be yourself, you can do whatever you want to do and no one will judge you. It's a happy place but more importantly it's a safe place. It's a safe place for many for different reasons. For a lot of people, their favourite music artist saved their life, music can take people to a happy place mentally. To see the person who has helped you this much in person is massive. A concert can be escapism for whatever shit they're going through outside the arena. You should never go to a concert and think about whether you'll come home or not. As I mentioned and it's sad to say but we're used to terrorism, it's not that shocking anymore. But we're used to it happening in capital cities. Targeting a concert in Manchester is conformation that nowhere can be classed as safe. I said to my friend last night that it's hard to understand why this has affected me so much but I think I've recently had a breakthrough. When I was told I had cancer within a minute I was told I would be cured, there was a new sort of appreciation for my life and my body because anyone can get ill at anytime. I was told if you've got your health you've got everything but all of a sudden having your health isn't enough to survive. It never was to be fair, you could step out in front of a bus and not survive but it's hard to process that you can go about doing your daily things and not survive. It's knowing that children, young adults and parents were targeted. No human would ever want children to suffer. When bad things happen it usually brings out the best in others and the response from the people of Manchester has been inspiring, you don't mess with a city like Manchester. Yes that did hurt to write coming from a scouser. But the past couple of weeks rivalries are nothing, Manchester is a city unites and the rest of the country is standing with them. It was a pleasure to be in Manchester yesterday to watch the concert, upon exiting Manchester Piccadilly I was greeted by people smiling at each other, I felt safe when I arrived, everyone was doing what they should be doing, just carrying on. Because, that's what we've been told isn't it, carry on and don't be scared. Love will always beat fear. But just for a minute I want you to be scared, be fucking scared, because it's terrifying what happened and what happened in London on Saturday night. Don't cancel out fear because you feel it's more brave to ignore that feeling and carry on. It's ok to feel scared, just don't let that fear rule your world. Go out and enjoy yourself, listen I'm not telling you to book an all exclusive holiday to Libya but don't stay inside, don't stay away from cities, don't stay away from places that have been attacked before. I don't know how to stop terrorism from happening, I wish I knew. I do know how to smile, it sounds simple but a simple smile might be very effective. That's your challenge, smile at a stranger. Be kind, be kind to someone who needs kindness (that's everyone). Let your good emotions last longer than your sad or scared ones. Let your anger grow into doing something productive. I hate that for the past two weeks, everytime I've said goodbye to someone it's followed by a "stay safe". Take a deep breath and choose love over hate and fear. Keep going to concerts and be vigilant. Keep an eye open and report any suspicious behaviour. Every time I think about what happened two weeks ago, my heart hurts. My heart hurts whenever I see the young faces of the 22 who lost their lives. When I think about the response from the emergency services, the people of Manchester and from Ariana Grande and everyone involved with the One Love concert, my heart feels full again, the fear goes away and love wins. Not knowing what will happen next or if you could be a victim of terrorism is scary, but use this fear and go and live life. Take a deep breath and do whatever you've been putting off, enjoy yourself and be honest with your feelings. Let others know they're loved. Doing something for others, be selfless and smile. I've heard it before "I might die tomorrow and I'm stuck in this office" so look for one that you know you'll enjoy. Be surrounded by those who bring you up and make you feel like a fucking queen. Life's a game, jump off the boring treadmill and enjoy yourself. Sadness can become happiness, it's up to you to find happiness in the darkest times, Like Dumbledore said turn on that light.
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